Being Empathic: what does it mean?

Leaders are told to be more empathetic, but what does that actually look like in practice?

First, what it is not:
It is not saying, “I know exactly how you are feeling.” Most people hear that and think, “No, you don’t.” It is also not sympathy. Sympathy is feeling for someone, often from a bit of a distance. Empathy is feeling with them, sitting beside their experience without trying to fix, minimize, or match it.

In leadership, that difference matters.

When leaders consistently show real empathy, a few things happen:

• Trust deepens, both with direct reports and cross functional partners

• Psychological safety grows, so people bring up issues earlier instead of hiding them

• Ideas get better, because people feel safe to disagree, push back, and explore

• Relationships strengthen, which directly supports performance and resilience

Practically, empathy sounds like:
“Tell me more about what is making this hard.”
“What part of this is weighing on you the most?”
“I can’t fully know what this is like for you, but I want to understand it better.”

A few coaching questions to reflect on:

• When someone on your team is struggling, do you rush to solve, or slow down to understand?

• How do people on your team know that it is safe to bring you bad news or half baked ideas?

Action prompt:
What is one concrete way you will practice empathy with someone on your team this week?

#executivecoach #leadershipcoaching #empathy